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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Things I Still or Will Do...

The following was paid for by John Brodigan for a Better America

This was "borrowed" by my Deputy Chief of Staff, Halden Johnson. It's a nice companion piece to my bit on being Forever Youngish

So apparently MSN’s Men’s Lifestyle has some tips for those unfortunate souls that are 30 and up. The list details 59 things a man should NOT do past the age of 30, many of which I still or would very likely still do.

1. Coin his own nickname.
4. Hacky sack.
8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"
13. Tap on the glass.
14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"
18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.
19. Give shout-outs.
20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.
24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."
26. Air drum.
28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
30. Sleep on a bare mattress.
31. End a conversation with "later skater."
32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.
33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"
34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.
37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.
38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."
40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."
41. Purchase fireworks.
42. Google the word vagina.
46. Organize a party bus.
47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.
48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.
49. Keg stands.
51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.
52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.
54. Read The Fountainhead.
55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.
56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."
58. Whippits.
59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."

Monday, April 24, 2006

Gas Prices Too High?

The following was paid for by John Brodigan for a Better America

I, like you, have noticed gas prices going up. I, also like you, have also read a number of chain letters and MySpace bulletins containing idiotic idea after idiotic idea about how we can "fight the power" by boycotting big oil, or only shopping at certain gas stations on one day and not shopping there on certain days, and so on.

Now, maybe I'm too cynical for my own good, but I think that's all a bunch of poppy cock. The only way to get the oil companies to lower prices is to threaten them with legislation. That's where Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) comes in, who recently supported a windfall profits tax, along with measures to stem concentration of market power among a few select oil companies, to offer relief to consumers hurting at the gas pump (click here for more).

It's true that Republicans are usually the last to tax rich business tycoons, but even my more liberal friends consider Sen. Specter to be one of the last voices of reason and rationality in Washington. When you consider that he's also the Chairman of the Judiciary Committee and, like it or not (and I don't care if you do or don't), the Republicans still control everything (for the time being at least), Specter could very well get something done if he gets enough support. He already sponsored bi-partisan legislation on Monday to reduce fuel costs.

So instead of sending out another e-mail that your friends are going to forward to their friends without even reading it themselves in the first place, write to your local congressman (you'll have to look that up yourselves), or write to Senator Spector and let him know you're behind him, or even how the higher gas prices are starting to effect you and your family (especially if they go up to $4 or $5 a gallon, as some a predicting).

Sen. Arlen Specter
711 Hart Building
Washington, DC 20510
Tel: 202-224-4254
(Click here for e-mail)


If you roll with the Dems and would prefer to get behind one of your own, Senators Richard Durbin (D-IL) and Chuck Schumer (D-NY) have also been vocal against the rumored "price gouging." See how to get in touch with them.

And as a side note, I'm sure there are more than a few of you who think writing to your elected official is as big of a waste of time as hitting the forward button on your e-mail. All I can say is that I felt the same way. Then my mother wrote to our local Congressman when the insurance companies were harassing her for money we didn't owe them. We got a letter back that he (or someone from his office) was going to look into it. She stopped getting harassed.

Democracy does work once in a while.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

My Ten Commandments

The following was paid for by John Brodigan for a Better America

I'm usually Mr. Happy Go Lucky, but much like all of you, there are a number of things people do that piss me off. So a while back I had posted my Three Commandments. From there it grew to five. Now, there are ten. And since I've grown tired of the news and have nothing else grinding my gears, I share them with you now...

(There were fifteen, but Moses dropped the tablet that had 11-15 chiseled on them.)

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF JOHN*
*I reserve the right to make exceptions depending on how cute she is

1. Me having a cell phone does not put me at your beck and call. I'll answer it when I'm free and available to talk.

2. If I want your opinion on how I'm supposed to think and/or live my life, I will ask you for it.

3. Being my friend does not grant you unfettered access to my personal life. If I don't want to talk aboot it, so it is written.

4. If the group is doing something I deem to be boring or suck, I reserve the right not to do it.

5. If I ask a yes or no question, I expect a yes or no answer. Not an excuse or a dissertation.

6. It is okay to listen to Fall Out Boy. It is NOT OKAY to look like you listen to Fall Out Boy.

7. There are two types of people in this world: people who like a strong cup of coffee, and people who should just switch to decaf and stop complaining when I make the coffee too strong.

8. If I'm at the gym and have my headphones on, don't start a conversation with me.

9. The Good Lord gives us twenty four perfectly good hours a day, and unless you've got company, why waste them in bed?

10. Be excellent to each other.